My Own Little Man-Diary: June 2012

Saturday, June 23

One of These Things Is Not Like the Others

A month into starting school, it becomes painfully clear that I'm gonna graduate a year later than my original batchmates. The thought had occurred to me, but the reality has come and it sucks. Fuck you, reality.

Of course, I am happy for them. I'm just bitter, I guess. It's my fault anyway.. for failing in the first place. Some of my original classmates failed too, and we have class together. So I have a little company. Most of them though, have already established themselves with the batch that they've already made a lot of friends. I have made a couple of friends, but most go by mere hi and hello's. Nothing more.

 I don't really expect I'll be close with these guys. On some level, I understand. To them, I am an unknown terrestrial. When I still had a class with my batchmates, I didn't really get to know our irregulars, but I didn't cast them out either.

 The vibe I get with my present classmates now is weird. I feel very alienated. I try to behave as I was with my old classmates, but it doesn't work. I crack a couple of jokes here and there, but all I get is silence and it gets awkward right after.

 Oh, well. I might as well get use to my situation. It's not like I have a choice in the matter. It's all you can do, adapt; survival of the fittest, I guess.

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It's been awhile since my last post. Nothing post-worthy, I guess. I'll try and post again soon.